The mountains used to be quiet. Cloud-wreathed and ancient, they held aloft my castle for countless ages. Until modernity crept in like an unwelcome guest who would not leave, and my home became a ‘tourist attraction, four and a half stars on Lonely Planet‘.
I grieve for that half star.
The city of Sibiu welcomes a thousand guests a month. They come in silver automobiles, they come in dirty buses. Bran Castle has never been more popular, my menu never more diverse. And yet. With this new brand of fame comes problems. I now must diet on second-hand blood, rather than fresh and warm. No longer can I spend my hours at whim, for that devil contract binds me to make appearances to ‘entertain the tourists’. I have done my best; there have been no disappearances at my abode throughout the past ten years. That the authorities know of.
It is the missing half star that vexes me. Gain that, I will have proved my peerlessness. My right is to rule, and it shall be recognised.
Alas, last week in fit of rage I confiscated a laser from an upstart youth attempting to blind me. The most pathetic attempt on my person yet, I think. Nonetheless, said youth’s family made a complaint to management regarding my behaviour. My eyes may have flared as red as the laser at this news–such blatant and audacious manners would never have been tolerated in the past. Nor in fact many failures of the present, which I could list if time permitted. Perhaps later.
Now, I come before you with offer of contract. I wish for a security team and detector gate to be installed. No more daggers, stakes, holy water, garlic, crucifixes, sacramental bread. Or lasers.
What do you say?
This story first appeared on this Reddit:WritingPrompts Flash Fiction Challenge (100-300 words). Hope that you enjoyed… and have a spooky October!